I wrote this letter a long time ago and doubtfully considered sending this to you.
I was presumptuous in thinking that you would find out that this was also written by a sad and grieving heart.
I never understand the reason why the good die young. I still seek the right answer to questions on suffering and death. I have no response to murmurings, doubts and complaints about and against life.
But this I know, however. Our faith in God gives us strength in life. Our hope in Him gives us his reasons for living. Our love for God gives us what is essential and indispensable in life--Himself.
In a somber time like this, a mother was also dismayed and disheartened when she lost her only son. She wanted the best for him. She could only wish the best. He was her best.
But fate and faith intervened.
In so short a time she lost him. She lost Him who gave her ideas to believe, motives to hope and reasons to love. She lost her Son who showed her the light, who manifested to her the life and whose love she mirrored.
Amidst all the pain in her heart, the endless tears in her eyes and the comfort offered by those around her, she felt alone. Among her friends who gave her comfort, wiped her tears, hugged and cared for her, she felt alone. Amid the wailings and the lamentation, the sobbing and the grief, she felt so alone.
Nobody can understand a mother's pain. No one can dry the tears from a mother's heart. No word of comfort can replace a mother's grief.
Perhaps pain has its reasons in the recesses of comfort. Perhaps tears have its basis in our laughters and our fears. Or maybe perhaps God sometimes puts us in the dark so that we find in him and through him the light.
Grief and sorrow have no place in a mother's heart when all that one can wish for is the best for her child. Death is never timely for us who are often caught unawares when all that one can pray for is a fuller life for one's offspring. Life has its deeper value in what a mother has often shared and offered.
I have no idea where your life without him will lead you. But this I believe, and I sure hope you do, too, that the only way to understand God is by sharing in his suffering.
By his death you shared.
|Puerto Rico * 2012|
Good Friday 2013