When insults had class


"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."-- Winston Churchill


"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."-- Winston Churchill


"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."-- Clarence Darrow


"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)


"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)


"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."-- Moses Hadas


"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."-- Abraham Lincoln


"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."-- Groucho Marx


"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."-- Mark Twain


"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."-- Oscar Wilde


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one."-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill


"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."-- Winston Churchill, in response


I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."-- Stephen Bishop


"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."-- John Bright


I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."-- Irvin S. Cobb


"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."-- Samuel Johnson


"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."-- Paul Keating


"He had delusions of adequacy."-- Walter Kerr


"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."-- Jack E. Leonard


"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."-- Robert Redford


"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."-- Thomas Brackett Reed


"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."-- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)


"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."-- Forrest Tucker


"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"-- Mark Twain


"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."-- Mae West


"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."-- Oscar Wilde


"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."-- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)


"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."-- Billy Wilder

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